I was kind of excited to be back at work, and share some of my adventures (in a G-rated manner, of course) with my work pals. Plus, my bestie’s birthday was that night, and our family was getting together at my favorite restaurant (lucky for me). I got stuck in a stupid meeting, and was running late for dinner. I called Justin and told him to order for me and that I was on my way. But by the time I got to the restaurant, I had a terrible stomach ache, and just didn’t feel right.
I ended up getting a doggie bag for my dinner. It’s not like me not to eat, especially at my favorite place. I figured it would pass, and Justin and I drove home. He decided to make himself a drink, and I asked him to pour me a glass of wine. I couldn’t even take two sips without throwing up. What in the world? The pains in my stomach were getting worse, and I couldn’t stop puking. I figured I had caught some weird bug in Europe, and after shooting down Justin’s idea to take me to the hospital, I went to bed, telling him I would sleep it off. Sleep never came.
By midnight, Justin (a nurse, I might add) was pushing me to go to the emergency room. When I didn’t listen, he called his mom (also a nurse). I couldn’t fight them anymore. Justin called my mom and he took me in. I was embarrassed, and stubborn, and was so afraid the doctor would say I had something silly, just cramps or an ordinary stomach ache. I checked in at the ER, and instead of sitting in the waiting room, I spent my time kneeling over the porcelain god in the restroom. Finally my name was called, and I was taken into an exam room. The doctor did some poking and prodding on my belly, before coming to the conclusion that I may need to get my appendix removed. He handed me a bottle of nuclear Crystal Light (not kidding, that shit would glow in the dark) and told me to drink the entire bottle, and keep it down for an hour or so so they could run some tests. I puked after the first sip. No way was I drinking the entire bottle. He said maybe we should just go ahead and take it out. I thought that was a dandy idea.
Next up was a catheter. Now, my husband is a nurse, and I’ve heard horror stories about catheters. It was one of the many times that I was glad I wasn’t a man. But a male nurse came in to do it. And my mom and husband (fiance at the time) were both there. Do you know how awkward it is to have your mom and your man see you naked at the same time? I do! I do!
After that, I don’t remember anything until the next day. Not one single thing. Apparently I had a really hard time coming to after the anesthesia. I know that my mom and Justin stayed with me all night, not sleeping at all, before heading back to work the next day and coming back to sleep at the hospital. I know that my sister came to pick me up two days later to take me home. I know that my bestie stocked my fridge with Jell-o and pudding since I couldn’t eat anything good, and that Justin went and rented several chick flicks for me to watch. I also know that my cruise friends sent me flowers, along with a ton of other people. I’m thankful to everyone for all of that. And I’m thankful that I will never throw up that much again, ever. Unless I get knocked up and am one of those unfortunate people that battle morning sickness the entire time. Yeah, that’ll probably be me.